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  • Writer's pictureHaresh Manglani

Connecting Without Criticism

As soon as you start criticizing someone, you usually find them shrinking inside and becoming more uncomfortable because they feel diminished or somehow made small. The issue isn’t negative but it’s not positive either. Because people don’t usually talk about the impact. It is assumed all criticism is constructive. However, it’s not perceived that way. Which is why this time round I am suggesting we ask ourselves, how can we say the same thing differently? Not, how can we sugarcoat it? There is a difference.


If the energy with which something is said is the same but the words are different, it is sugarcoating. However, if the energy is one of acceptance and genuine empathy without judgement or feeling punched on the face in how it is presented, then there is positive energetic shift. There is a point to this exercise. So that people can be more warm and accepting which in turn encourages others to open up and feel thankful and approached with inclusion. That in turn leads to behaviour that is responsible and community oriented. So how do you find this?


For me, being critical has been second nature for a long time. It starts with self because growing up a parent or parental figure decided criticism is the best way to improve my behaviour. I took it on like a sponge without knowing better. And I have been living that same habit except now I am consciously aware of it which gives me the choice to be different.


So my view is, criticism does not allow for healthy relationships. Setting boundaries and being clear about them, as well speaking honestly without wearing masks can achieve the same outcome and create more open doors. It requires finesse and isn’t always easy to transform at first. However, with less or no criticism, we can encourage a community energy that’s happier and more connected to each other. How do you see it?

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